Leadership Grants Organization: Oh, the sweet smell of a scam

In the last several weeks, I've been contacted directly by no less than six or seven people who have submitted--or are considering submitting--applications to the Leadership Grants Organization. It makes me realize that I really should have shared my conclusions about this organization much sooner. So below is the breakdown of the research that convinced me AGAINST moving forward with the grant application process. (Those of you whom I've e-mailed directly will recognize this!)

As you know if you've read previous blog posts, I was initially thrilled when I came upon the Leadership Grants Organization website. It's extremely difficult to find grants for which one is eligible as an individual, and I thought this could be the solution I'd been looking for. However, my excitement was tempered with just a hint of suspicion, rooted in the fact that the only mention of actual grant recipients was a list with first names and last initials. No press releases, no links to winners' websites or projects--nothing. I've worked in publicity, and it seemed extremely strange to me that the organization would choose not to promote its work or that of its grantees.

So, first I found the site's IP address, then tried to match that with a physical address. The physical address given by the organization is on Madison Avenue in New Jersey--but the IP address is in Canada. To double-check, I did a search for the company in the directory of the Madison Avenue building it's supposed to be located in and couldn't find anything. Then I found the owner of the IP address: Darren Morgenstern. This charmer is the founder of ashleymadison.com, which caters to married people who want to cheat on their partners with other married people (more discreet that way, I suppose). Weird connection, so I looked further, and it looks like he was investigated in 2001 (in Canada) for a domain name scam. There are also accusations of a scam with a home staging teaching company he owns, but he hasn't been indicted for either (and he made some big bucks when he sold ashleymadison.com). Then I looked on BBB to see that Leadership Grants Organization has been assigned a rank of F because it was only established in April. Odd, since the website shows that some people won grants BEFORE then. Also on the BBB site, I saw that a Sarah Morgenstern is listed as a chief operating officer of the organization. So I thought--wife of Darren Morgenstern? Either way, this wasn't looking good, but I couldn't figure out where the "scam" would be. I did some MORE looking, and found that there are people complaining online that they paid between $2700 and $4000 to an "outside business plan consulting company" that Leadership Grants Organization had recommended--but these people had never (a) received help on their plans or (b) heard back from Leadership Grants Organization. So I e-mailed the woman I'd been in touch with to ask directly if the site/organization is linked to either Morgenstern. In response, she copy/pasted the contact page listed on the website, basically just ignoring my question.

As Paul and others have mentioned, my conclusion is that if people just submit their business plans, as I would have done, there would be no loss of money--just a waste of time. But I worry that it would be more harmful for those who hire this consulting company to help them create or edit their business plans. (I also did the same IP address/physical address search on this consulting company, Capital Business Service but, to be honest, can't remember the results as in detail as the ones I gave above. But they were just as fishy.)

To be clear (don't want any lawsuits here!), my "findings" are more suggestive than definitive, but they convinced me against proceeding with the organization, and I'm advising anyone who asks to be cautious in moving forward. It also seems that, at the very least, this company should be investigated by those with more resources than me to determine its legitimacy.

Have you submitted a grant application with Leadership Grants Organization? Worked with Capital Business Service? Has anyone reading this WON a grant from them? Please share your experiences in the comments, and feel free to contact me directly if you'd like to discuss this further.

And for the record, I think it's DISGUSTING and so, so disheartening that would-be entrepreneurs could be derailed by a scam like this. I hope none of you have been.

Weekend in Laredo (part 2)

On Saturday, my second day in Laredo last weekend, I finally had the chance to meet Mary Benavides. I'm usually nervous before meeting new people, so much so that I start fabricating conversations in my head--conversations that inevitably become random and strange, not at all realistic--to prepare for the dialogue to come. But this time, I was more excited than nervous. Each time we'd spoken on the phone about our goals and plans for opening bookstores in Laredo, Mary was warm and open, never giving me the chance to feel anxious. The only odd thing about our meeting was that Courtney, who has been filming a documentary about the closing of Laredo's only bookstore and the community's reaction to it, wanted to get it on camera.

We'd originally arranged to meet at a coffeeshop but, at the last minute, discovered it was closed for another hour after our scheduled arrival. So instead we went to Danny's, a local Mexican restaurant and Laredo institution. We were ushered into the empty back room, all windows and pink walls. It was as Courtney started setting up her equipment that I felt the first flickers of nerves. I hadn't prepared anything to say!

"This is like a blind date," Courtney joked.

"Yeah, one of those Match.com commercials," I added. "Where they're even more awkward because they're being filmed."

We laughed.

Then Mary showed up, and for the next two hours we caught each other up on our progress and plans, only breaking to order and devour a plate of panchos. My nerves faded as quickly as they'd come, as she's one of those rare people with the ability to immediately put others at ease. Perhaps even better, she was a veritable fountain of insight about the book industry, which is so clearly her passion, and I realized freshly how much learning I have to do!

It's such an interesting situation: Two people striving to open the same type of business in the same not-huge city would, I think, normally be cautious of each other, well aware that they will soon be "competitors." But this is so different. Call me naive, but I think she and I genuinely support each other and want to see each other's businesses succeed. We're working toward the same goal, after all, and I think this kind of mutual respect and encouragement speaks to the unique type of goal it is: one with a heart.

Yes, yes. Cue the awwwws.

Weekend in Laredo (part 1)

The heat was stunning in Laredo this weekend--that kind of fierce warmth that immediately makes clothes stick and hair go limp. It's been almost eight years (eight years?!) since I left the city for college, four hours north and at least ten degrees cooler, and what surprised me most of all was how I had forgotten what summers mean down there: Be. Near. Water. The weather was a fresh reminder that I must reacquaint myself with my city, in many ways.

It was a great few days, though. I arrived Friday night just in time to shower and change for the Cream City magazine launch party. Back in April, Analee Paz, one of the magazine's creators, contacted me to ask whether I'd like to be featured in a section called "The Profiles." She said they'd love to hear more about what this process of working toward opening a bookstore has been like. Of course, I was thrilled to agree.

The party was held downtown at Gallery 201, an art gallery I'd never heard of or been to before. Only rarely do I foray downtown, so each time I do I marvel at how it seems like an entirely different city, a foreign country: the one-way streets, the cobblestone roads and beautiful old buildings.

The gallery itself was gorgeous, and the magazine put on a great party. A projector screen displayed the cover of the magazine on one wall above a small stage, a photographer was ready at the entrance to snap red carpet-esque photos of guests, and the wine and cucumber martinis were flowing at the bar.



Of course, I couldn't wait to see a copy of the magazine, and it didn't disappoint. The photography and design layout were beautiful, and it was so interesting to read the stories of the other two individuals in "The Profiles."







I know the article is impossible to read in this photo, so I'll post a transcription later. But I'm so happy to have had the opportunity to talk more about the bookstore, to let people know that, yes, it's a work in progress, but at least it's in progress. Thanks again to Analee Paz and Fernando de Haro, publisher and photographer, for the honor of being featured in Cream's premiere issue!

So the party was Friday. And on Saturday, after months of telephone correspondence, I finally met Mary Benavides. Mary, who managed B. Dalton for about 30 years, is also working toward opening a bookstore in Laredo, and we've been trying to coordinate a meeting for months. I'm going to end this post on that teaser, because I fear it's already gotten too long, but I'll write about our meeting very soon. I hope you're all having a good Monday so far!

Dear Leadership Grants of America, Would You Like to Give Me Some Money?

As some of you know, I've been preparing a grant application for Pepsi Refresh for some time now. The idea behind this grant is that individuals and organizations can apply for grants of $5,000, $25,000, $50,000 or $250,000; those grant applications are posted online, and viewers can vote on them daily. Each bracket has a different amount of grantees that will be awarded each month--but here's the catch: Pepsi only accepts the first 1,000 submissions it receives starting midnight EST on the first of each month.

Unfortunately, the system has been a little flawed.

Or perhaps that's unfair. What is undeniably true, though, is that a LOT of people are applying for these grants, and the high activity level tends to make the Pepsi submission site a bit uncooperative. When I logged on to submit my grant application (at EXACTLY midnight EST), the site froze up immediately and didn't let me continue. Ten minutes later, 1,000 submissions had been received. Frustrating, to say the least, and so far Pepsi has said there's nothing to be done but try again next month. Okay, I will.

But in the meantime I've been looking into other grant opportunities. Have you ever tried looking for or applying for grants? There are a LOT of them out there, but they all have specific eligibility guidelines, so it can take a while to weed through and find the grants that are applicable to you. Fortunately, I found one: Leadership Grants of America. Wonderfully, the Leadership Grants Organization awards funds to entrepreneurs looking to start or expand their small businesses.

So, I got in contact with the organization, and just today my initial application was confirmed. The next step is to submit a business plan and cover letter no later than July 16. If the proposal meets the organization's criteria, I'll be told what due diligence items are required, and the amount of funds awarded. So exciting! And I love that I have an official deadline for when to complete my business plan. Hey, I'm a writer--I like deadlines.

I'll keep you posted!

As The Walls Go Up...

These days, we usually hear the phrase "walls going up" as a metaphor for someone who is becoming guarded, concealing and protecting those parts of the self that are too vulnerable or private to reveal to the world. But today that phrase means something else to me, something literal and proud.

In Laredo, as I type, the walls are going up on the new main branch of Falcon International Bank. Falcon has been a part of my family for nearly my whole life. My dad started working there almost twenty years ago, when the bank had only one location and 18 employees. Over time, the bank grew. It moved to a new building, and I remember having one of my birthday parties in the empty one, which the bank still owned. Spying a strange button under the teller counter, I curiously pushed my fingers against it, disappointed when nothing happened. Then there were sirens (yep, silent alarm!). And later, in the new building, which the bank was leasing, we three kids went with my parents to the annual Christmas parties and ran around the lake in back and hid out in my dad's office, smuggling hors d'oeuvres. And then the bank grew some more. It now has 18 branches, I believe, and a staff of over 250. My dad had so much to do with that growth.



At the end of this year, Falcon will leave the building it has been leasing as its main branch and move to the new one, the one whose walls are being raised right now. I wish I could have been there to hear my dad's speech, but my sister sent me a few pictures so I'd feel included. I'm also watching the progress on the bank's website.

To me, seeing that one wall lifted off the ground, away from the others also waiting to be raised, is so powerful. It signifies the achievement of a dream, of years of dedication and hard work--not just by my dad (and my mom!) but by everybody who's helped the bank grow. And it's very, very inspiring.

A Brief Summary of the Last 7 Weeks

It's with no little amount of embarrassment that I begin writing this latest post. Despite all my good intentions (blog at least three times a week, etc.), it's been almost two months since I've updated this blog, and longer than that since I've given you a real sense of where I am in this bookstore project. So, here goes:

LIFE EVENTS

1. As some of you know, my husband and I moved. In the period of a month, we sold one house, bought a new one, and, thanks in large part to the sweat labor of family and friends, relocated. We're farther south now, which improves the commute to Laredo by almost an hour--which will come in handy in the coming months.

2. I wrapped up my second year in my MFA program, leaving only one to go. With the classless summer months ahead, I'm looking forward to spending more time researching, visiting independent bookstores, asking advice of seasoned and new booksellers alike, and generally diving into learning as much as possible about the industry.

BOOKSTORE

I'm not going to lie: In the last few months, as I've balanced moving, school, my business, and my general life, I've had some pretty intense flashes of What the hell do I think I'm doing? I think I fully realized how difficult this whole process will be, and that it will likely take much longer to achieve my goal than my naive original estimates. I also wondered if this whole thing was even feasible, or possible, and I panicked at the thought of being the girl who gave some big talk that, ultimately, she couldn't back up. I think that was part of the reason I stopped blogging for as long as I did. With everything that was going on in my life, I wasn't sure where my head was at with this whole thing. That is to say, the desire to move forward never changed, and neither did the conviction--at all--but the confidence had somehow taken a blow. I was scared, pure and simple.

What got my head back in the game was recognizing that moving forward with opening this bookstore (with any business) is a rational (not emotional) decision I needed to make and stand behind. Or not. And if not, I needed to be honest about it, to make it clear that, despite my desire and conviction remaining intact, it wasn't the right time to actualize this particular dream. But in the end, after all the silence and inner struggle and debate, I've decided to give this a real shot. To support my words, and my desire, and my conviction, with action.

Perhaps I shouldn't have been so quick to shout from the cyber-rooftops that I'd be opening a bookstore in Laredo. After all, I knew the risks. I knew I'd be the girl who cried wolf (or, um, book) if things didn't work out, if I backed down. But I'm glad I did that shouting. I've met so many wonderful people who have been willing to share with me their experiences in opening bookstores, or who have given of themselves and their communities by donating books to the cause, or who have validated my entire reason for this venture by telling me, simply, "We need this." I look forward to meeting many more people who have so much to teach, and who will help make this bookstore thrive.

SOME FACTS

1. I'll be submitting the Pepsi Refresh grant application tonight, in approximately 1 hour and 20 minutes. If approved, the idea will be open for DAILY VOTING on July 1. I'll be talking more about this in the coming days.

2. I've made a big decision to lease a space instead of buying land and doing new construction. This will dial down start-up costs by 66%, which will drastically help speed up the process of opening. And, yes, I have a solid location in mind. It's at a major Laredo intersection, and the store will be approximately 6,000 square feet.

3. The bookstore will also feature free Wi-Fi access, comfortable seating, and a cafe selling coffee, pastries, and a few carefully selected wines and beers. I want the store to be a community gathering place, one that encourages lingering and learning. I'll also tailor the store to Laredo's unique demographic by highlighting books by Latino/a authors, selling classic and contemporary literature in English and Spanish, and providing a good selection of audiobooks for the many truck drivers who pass through Laredo on their routes. And let's not forget the workshops and events. The literacy rate, as we all know (and as the national media is so quick to point out) is a major problem in Webb County. I'm planning on hosting weekly literacy workshops for kids and adults, as well as creative writing workshops. And I hope to attract many authors, especially those who are Latino/a or who are from South Texas, to give readings and book signings. These are just a few of the MANY plans I have for the store. What else would you like see?

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM ME

Accountability.

I want to keep you all informed. I want this process to be a dialogue between all of us who love books, read books, write books, and sell books; all of us who live in Texas, who have called Laredo home, who have resided in cities without easy local access to books; and everyone in between.

Thank you (again) all for your support!

LC4A Plans "Tequila Mockingbird" Street Party Fundraiser

Okay--Tequila Mockingbird: How clever is that name? I mean really.

Let me rewind. I was chatting yesterday with Gabriel Castillo, who was just officially hired as the Executive Director of the Laredo Center for the Arts, and who has been running the LC4A used bookstore. I wanted to let Gabriel know about the generous donation coming his way from Family Guy producer Kara Vallow and her friends and coworkers; turns out, he already knew. He and Kara, he said, have been e-mailing back and forth for a week, and the FIVE boxes she sent out are due at LC4A any day now. While I had Gabriel, I thought I'd ask a few questions on how LC4A has been doing. And I want you all to get the update from him:

"I am happy to report that the community has responded beautifully to our fundraising efforts and to our bookstore," Gabriel said. "It’s especially gratifying for me to see so many young people come by to read or purchase books. The books are very affordable: $1 for paperback to $6 for hardcover."

Gabriel added--and this moved me to no end--"I must admit we have some kids who can’t afford even that, so we simply give them the books and explain that if they ever want to return them we will gladly accept them back."

How amazing is that? For so many reasons: first, the heartbreaking fact that $1 a book is out of reach for many children, teens, and young adults in Laredo. Second, that despite that, these kids and adults WANT to read--which I've always known, and that's why quotes like the infamous Wall Street Journal one get me so riled up. (To refresh your memory: "Laredo is a poor city filled with immigrants who don't speak English, let alone read it.") And third, that the community has come together to place books in these kids' hands with no conditions--no price, no due dates. It gives me goosebumps.

LC4A is having its first book signing this Thursday, April 8. Don Hendon, author of 365 Ways to Influence, is a former Laredoan. He asked for the book signing reception and, says Gabriel, "We gladly agreed."

Now for Tequila Mockingbird:

"[The Center] has a very enthusiastic board of directors," Gabriel said. "The board is planning a fundraiser with proceeds going to the bookstore. Several years ago, the Center had an annual tequila tasting party, closing the streets surrounding the Center for a rousing fiesta complete with live music, Mexican antojitos, and a silent auction. The group is reviving the event, calling it the Tequila Mockingbird Street Party."

The Tequila Mockingbird Street Party is scheduled for Friday, April 30, from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. Ross and Friends will provide the music, and Laredo's historic La Posada Hotel is donating some of the food. L&F Distributors, along with several other local corporate and foundation donors, are co-sponsoring the event. Tickets are $20 pre-sale and $25 at the door with a cash bar. Funds raised by the Tequila Mockingbird Street Party (can you tell I just love saying it?) will go toward maintenance, payroll, and additional marketing for the bookstore.

Laredoans and supporters in surrounding areas: Will you be there?? And I'd love to hear from anyone who has either donated books or been to LC4A in person!

What Do a New Magazine Designer & a Producer of an Emmy Award-Winning Show Have in Common?

They both read this blog!

I hope you all will forgive the hurried nature of this post, but I wanted to share some news with you in the few minutes I have before dashing off this afternoon.

In the last two days, I have gotten two very exciting messages via Facebook. The first was from Analee Paz, who is working on an inaugural issue of a new glossy magazine in Laredo. The magazine, Cream, will be bimonthly, and each issue will have a section called "The Profiles." The section will cover interviews and photos with three "prominent and commendable" individuals from Laredo--and they want to include me in their inaugural issue! Analee has been reading the blog and says they would love to talk about this whole experience, as well as my other writing and editing work, in more detail. The tentative interview date is next weekend, but I'll keep you all posted. Very exciting!

The second Facebook message I received was from Lindsay Flinn, who was writing for her boss, Kara Vallow. Kara is a producer of Family Guy (!!!), American Dad, and The Cleveland Show, and she has apparently read the blog . . . and been inspired to hold a book drive for Laredo! Lindsay let me know that they're sending the first shipment my way today, with more following until everyone they work with has been drained of their extra books. This was in response to my post about LC4A a couple of weeks ago, so when I get the books, I'll be making a delivery there. How great is that??!

It's so thrilling to me to see that this little blog is actually reaching people, and inspiring them to take action. Thank you, Analee and Kara, for supporting not just my efforts, but those of our larger book-loving community. You both made my day!

Anyone else want to make donations? There's LC4A AND Escape Again.

Hope you're all having a lovely week!

Meet Eddie Cardenas, Laredo's Newest Used Bookstore Owner!

Q&A

Me: What was your response when you heard that B. Dalton was closing? Were you a regular customer?

Eddie: When I heard that B. Dalton was closing, I thought, Well that's too bad, but it probably opens up an opportunity for someone else. I have been living in Indianapolis recently and I bought books mostly from Half-Price books and Books-A-Million.

Me: When did you know that opening a used bookstore was going to be a serious endeavor, versus just a dream?

Eddie: I was actually working on opening a bakery, having just graduated from pastry school, but I ran across some research I did in 2003 when I had dared to dream that I could open up a bookstore and decided to go for it this time.

Me: Why did you opt to open a used bookstore rather than a general bookstore?

Eddie: I had a shoestring budget to work with and felt that a used bookstore would help me get my foot in the door for something bigger later on.

Me: What was, and is, your vision for the store? What types of books do you hope to stock most of? Who is your target customer?

Eddie: If things go well, I will probably open a branch in south Laredo and start offering new books as well. At the same time, I will be investigating starting up a bigger bookstore with all the amenities, like a Books-A-Million type store.

Me: Will the store host any type of events for the community?

Eddie: Maybe, I haven't given it much thought. I have thought once in a while that I would like to have a group form up that reads books out loud. Guest readers would help get that started.

Me: How did you acquire the store's opening inventory (donations, etc.)? How many titles, approximately, will the store carry at once? What will pricing be?

Eddie: I bought the inventory from a used bookstore in Dallas that offers up books and advice to people wanting to start up a used bookstore. I will have a lot of titles, somwhere between 4,500 and 5,000. They will be Mysteries, Adventure, Sci-Fi, General Fiction, Horror, and Romance, as well as a couple shelves of non-fiction and westerns

Me: How/why did you choose Calton Rd. as the store's location?

Eddie: I thought [it] was centrally located enough to attract customers from all over the city. There's plenty of traffic going through and a lot of traffic from the HEB, Luby's and the Emperor Garden.

Me: How do you think opening a used bookstore will affect/change your life?

Eddie: I have lived in 4 different cities and moved 7 times between those cities in the past 9 years. I hope the bookstore grounds me and brings more people into my life.

Me: What has the response been like so far from family, friends, community members?

Eddie: I love the reactions I get from people when I tell them I'm opening a bookstore. Everyone, from family and friends to the lady that took my telephone hook-up order, to the accountants I interviewed, to the city inspectors that I dealt with and all the bank people I have talked to--all are excited about the prospect. Sometimes it seems that I'm not excited enough the way people react.

Me: Have you hired employees, or will you be the at the bookstore each day?

Eddie: I will be at the bookstore myself and will eventually hire help so I can take a day or two off during the week.

Me: What was your career before you decided to embark on this journey?

Eddie: I've been working as an International customer service rep for International Paper for the past 10 years and I studied to be a Pastry Chef for the last year of those ten. I actually moved to Laredo to open a pastry/bakery shop. I felt that the bookstore was a more viable option and tabled the bakery idea. For now.

Me: What is your favorite book and why?

Eddie: One of my favorite authors is Alan Dean Foster. I love his sense of humor and can read just about anything he writes. Incidentally, he also wrote a couple of Star Wars stories and I can't ever get enough of the Star Wars world.

There you have it! Show your support to Eddie by visiting Escape Again when it opens--I'll let you know when the date becomes certain. Any comments or other questions for Eddie? Post them below!

There's No News Like Good News

Oh, dear . . . With only four posts in the last month, no wonder my Google Analytics are dismal for March. Thanks to those of you who are still with me!

The last three weeks have been filled with the stress and tedium of moving: bubble-wrapping wedding china, cleaning neglected areas of the house, driving to and from Goodwill with new loads of old stuff, garage sale, brutal cardboard cuts, meals standing around the kitchen island, exhausted, sore sleeps, and so it goes. There's a sort of haze that surrounds a move, isn't there? It becomes isolated almost completely from other aspects of your life until you forget that, once, you wore high heels, talked to clients, BLOGGED. In any case, the worst of it is over. Though our new home is mostly empty and its garage is filled to frightening capacity with boxes, we're in and we have Internet. And where there's Internet, there's life to be lived.

Enough about that. I'm happy to inform you all that there's been another development in the Laredo bookstore saga. A couple of days ago, I received an e-mail from Eddie Cardenas, a fellow Laredoan who has been working toward opening a used bookstore. And he's worked quickly! The store, which will be called Escape Again, is slated to open this week!



And fortunately, thanks to a homeward bound trip for Easter, I'll be able to check it out and meet Eddie in person. Additionally, Eddie has agreed to let me interview him for the blog, so be looking forward to a Q&A with him--tomorrow, I hope. Escape Again is located on 608 W Calton Road, Laredo, TX 78045. Call (956) 568-1609 if you'd like to know how to support Eddie's efforts.



More coming soon. In the meantime, tell me what's new with you! What books are you reading? Have you visited any indie bookstores lately? For those of you in Laredo, are you excited to visit Escape Again when it opens?

Secondhand Bookstore Opens in Laredo!

Have you all heard about this? Nonprofit organization Laredo Center for the Arts is opening a small, used bookstore called LC4A. The store is actually opening today, right next to the center's main building. Its stock comes entirely, I believe, from donations, and will be very affordable: Prices will range from 25 cents to $5.00.

Local news station KGNS posted the story online earlier this morning. Watch the video here.

Can I just say--I'm really proud of Laredo. I think the community has been showing, in different ways and ever since news of B. Dalton closing hit, how important having local access to a bookstore is to it. The public library has stepped up in a big way, local businesses are donating books, and so much more.

Want to donate books or volunteer your time to work at LC4A? Call LC4A at (956) 725-1715. And, if you're local, stop by and show your support. It's located at 500 San Agustin Avenue.

What are your thoughts on this new development? Laredoans, will you start shopping for books there?

I'm Still Alive!

After not posting on the blog for a week, all I can do is take one from my grandma's mouth and say que verguenza! Some of you who know me in person know that I've spent the last week pretty under the weather. I missed most of my MFA classes, which was upsetting, and could burst into bitter sobs at any moment, like an exhausted child. (My poor husband.) Clearly, it was not the most productive week for me, and I'm sorry to say that posting fell by the wayside along with everything else.

But I'm back! I'm thrilled to say that my Facebook Page has more than 160 fans, some of whom have been interacting with me and one another on my Wall. And it's humbling that, when I review the fan list, I see that many have been, up to now, complete strangers to me. So thank you to everyone who is taking part in this journey with me.

I mentioned in a recent post that my sister, Amanda, has the opportunity to work with a project plan expert, and she's chosen the bookstore as her project. The development of the plan began last week, and she called me with a few well-edited questions to get things going.

"I know you're going for financing through grants and loans," she said, "but how much money do you think you'll need?"

It's a good question, and one whose answer I thought I would share with you all. By my estimates, I will need approximately $1.7 million to get the bookstore up and running. I have two favorite locations in mind, one of which would require the purchase of land and new construction, and the other which would be leased. If I go with the first, I expect to pay $750K for the land. Then I believe construction of a 6,000 square-foot store will cost between $250K and $300K. Based on my research, I can expect to pay up to $300K for initial fixtures and inventory. The rest of the funds will go toward interior design, advertising, payroll, and other expenses.

It's a lot of money; there's no doubt about that. But if I can raise half the funds through grants, I'll feel comfortable achieving the rest through a small business loan. This week, I'll post a list of grants I'm planning to apply for. And if you all know of any you think are appropriate, by all means, throw them at me!

Other stuff to come this week:

* How are booksellers adapting to the digital age?
* Part I in a series of posts I'll be calling, "But How Will You Make Money?"
* Commentary on an article enticingly called, "An Idea Every Independent Bookstore Should Steal"
* Commentary on a Slate article called, "What Are Independent Bookstores Really Good For? Not Much"
* The blog's first book review, which I'm excited about!
* Updates on the business plan, grant applications, and blog and Facebook analytics

And maybe a personal lamentation or two about the pains of moving--and the excitement of Colin and I buying our first house together :)

What else would you like to see on the blog?

It's True--Pepsi Refresh Reached March Application Quota

So, I spent all last night in a deep but confusing sleep in which I dreamed of my Pepsi Refresh grant application for what seemed like hours. I woke with a headache--and purpose. I needed to find out what was going on. But alas, what I feared last night is true: In about 20 minutes, Pepsi received more than 1,000 applications for grants. I'm in disbelief, but I also feel angry at myself. I should have known to try submitting in the first minutes--but that's not a mistake I'll make next month.

So what's the plan for the next 30 days?

I'm going to use the time to my advantage. I plan to write at least the majority of my business plan this month and use those specifics to further hone my grant application. I also saw a fantastic video made by my new friend Janet Geddis, who is opening a bookstore in Athens, Georgia late this year. She also tried applying for a Pepsi grant this month, but she had the additional frustration of her application being LOST! In any case, Janet made a really lovely video using iMovie, which has inspired me to try and do the same. (Anyone out there want to tutor me??) I'll also use this month to research other grants, which I'll be able to apply for once the business plan is done. And finally, an extra 30 days will give me even more time to build a community on this blog and on my Facebook Page--a community that will, I hope, help me get out the vote once the application is up and running.

Have any of you ever applied for grants? What have your experiences been?

Pepsi Grant Application a Bust for this Month?

The rain is falling quietly outside as I write this, and all I can see out the windows is a reflection of our living room. Ever since we received (and accepted) an offer on our house, I've been looking around with newly sentimental eyes: How can I drink my morning coffee without seeing the angular shadows the sun makes on these particular wood floors? Can we really sell the couches we've cuddled up on for the last three, four, years? And what of the view from our back deck? Surely a little patch of yard can't replace that. Selling a house you've loved is a bittersweet thing, for sure.

Tonight, too, is bittersweet. I expected to rattle off an exuberant post pointing you all in the direction of my grant application on Pepsi Refresh, and beg for you to spread the word in all the ways you can. I've been preparing for that moment ever since I first heard of the Pepsi Refresh Project, which will award $1.3 million in grants every month in 2010 to the projects that receive the most votes online. But an hour--an HOUR--after applications started being accepted, I was informed that Pepsi had already received their 1,000-application quota for the month of March. The site politely asked me to try again on April 1.

Is this a mistake? Brought on, perhaps, by a sudden influx of traffic? Or some mishap during the scheduled maintenance earlier tonight? I hope so. I'll be getting in touch with someone from the company bright and early tomorrow morning.

Now for the sweet part of the evening: I created a Facebook Page for Provocation and Privacy! I've gotten many requests for one in the last couple of weeks and finally had a couple of hours to sit down and make it happen. Then I had the pleasure of watching as my night-owl friends and supporters started becoming fans. Very exciting stuff! I hope they'll share the page with their networks and so on. It'll be a great place for you to get quick updates in between these longer posts--and interact with others who care about books, reading, and literacy. Find the page here.

Also, we've broken 1,000 pageviews on the blog. :)

Thank you all, as always, for your support. I'll let you know what's going on with the Pepsi Refresh grant application as soon as I find out!

The Word Is Spreading

As promised, here are a couple of photos that I'll be using in my Pepsi Refresh grant application, courtesy of Courtney Loving Sames. How did she even get this shot, which is adorably called "Little Offering"?!



And I love this one:



There are four more that I have up my sleeve, thanks to Courtney. The application will be online on Monday, and I'll give you the direct link then. I can't wait for you all to see--and, of course, vote for it!--when it's complete.

In other news, we're only about 70 pageviews shy from accomplishing the goal of doubling them from last week to this one. I'm so excited about that! And next week at this time, I hope that we'll double them again to reach 1,800.

Also, according to Google Analytics (which I of course check obsessively), word of these efforts is spreading not just past Laredo, or Texas, but past the United States! Readers from Mexico, the UK, Hong Kong, Singapore, Pakistan, Australia, and more are all tuning in. That is beyond inspiring to me. Thank you all for your support.

The Photos Are In!

What a crazy week it's been so far! Who got to experience the snow in Austin and other Texas cities?

Well, if you recall, last Wednesday I mentioned my goal of more than doubling the readership of this blog by the same time the following week. It's that time, and while readership hasn't quite doubled (my fault, for neglecting to post daily), it HAS increased a fair bit. Last Wednesday, the blog had nearly 450 page views. As of right now, those page views have jumped to more than 750! Not a bad gain, and the day's not over yet. Share the link to this blog with your friends, coworkers, and family via your social networking sites or good old-fashioned word of mouth. I'm confident we can get 150 more views by tonight! And by next week, I'm making the ambitious goal of doubling page views again.

In other news, Courtney Sames came through for me big time on photos to use in my Pepsi grant application. Through the photos and the rest of the application, I hope viewers and voters everywhere will be moved enough by Laredo's story to vote for this project. $250,000 will go a LONG way toward actualizing this dream--and achieving funding through other grant organizations, financial institutions, and/or the Small Business Association.

I have to run to a meeting, but I wanted to quickly update you all first. I'll post again tonight with an example of two of Courtney's beautiful work . . . and a few other updates!

If We Build It, They Will Come

"If we build it, they will come," Mary Benavides said to me on the phone this afternoon.

I was in my car on my way to my usual parking lot in San Marcos, where I'm an MFA student at Texas State. I had spent the morning working on the book I'm co-writing with the fantastic Corey Blake (www.roundtablecompanies.com), hurriedly cleaning the house in preparation for the Austin Energy Audit we're having tomorrow, and looking at yet more online photos of apartments. Then I'd spent the afternoon trekking through apartments that were all beginning to look eerily alike, and talking to leasing people whose cheerfulness I was really starting to doubt. So hearing Mary's voice, despite the fact that it was only the second time we'd spoken, was decidedly refreshing.

We spoke for about twenty minutes, give or take, filling each other in on the status of our plans. "I want to help you in any way I can," she said. "I want us to work together on this."

"So do I," I told her, thrilled that we were still on the same page (okay, pun intended).

She told me that she's in the process of choosing a location and securing investors, and I told her about a conversation I'd had with my mom recently about the choice between funding the bookstore through investors versus taking out a loan.

With investors, it gets complicated, my mom had said. They will eventually want a return, and they'll expect that their ideas are heard and some of them incorporated. "That's hard for me," I told Mary. "I mean, if their ideas are in line with your vision, that's great. But what if they're not? How much do you owe an investor because he or she has helped you start this venture?"

"Katie, we're exactly in the same place!" she exclaimed. "Plus, I'm proud. It's hard for me to ask for help like that."

"Me too," I said.

At another point, she told me of the difficulty of actually securing investors for a project like this. "But I just keep saying, if we build it, they will come," Mary said.

Stuck in traffic, after just spitting out a bite of a sandwich with disgusting wasabi mayonnaise, I felt goosebumps rise on my arms. "I love that," I said.

"What we're doing is bigger than you and me, Katie. It's about community. It's all about community."

We again promised to keep each other posted, and Mary told me that she'll be in and out of San Antonio in the coming weeks in preparation for her daughter's wedding. I let her know that I'd love to drive down and meet her so that we can talk about our plans in person.

"I think the key is going to be that each of our stores offers something the other doesn't," I said. "That way, we're complementing each other, rather than competing."

"Katie," she said, "I don't want to be in competition with you in any way, shape, or form. We're partners in this."

And I truly feel like we are, which in itself is kind of miraculous. Mary, if you're reading this post, can't wait till we meet in person!

Laredo Bookstore Updates . . . Overdue!

Wow. If any week has shown me what a challenge opening this bookstore will be, it's this one. Which is why, I'm sorry to say, I haven't posted since Sunday.

This week, after being on the market for a year and a half, our house finally got an offer. A full-price offer (granted, after we significantly lowered the price), at that. So, after settling quite comfortably, if guiltily, into the fact that the house may not sell for some time, my husband and I have been jarred into the reality of looking for a new place to live, packing, and moving . . . all in less than 30 days. That is, assuming the sale goes through as planned. All of this means that, in addition to Colin starting a new job this week, and my full-time work and grad school and planning for this bookstore, we've been apartment-hunting like crazy. It's a level of stress that's laughable.

In any case, selling this house (again, assuming all goes through) probably couldn't come at a better time. Because our lives are so in flux right now, we'll be renting for a while, rather than buying. That leaves us with some flexibility when it comes to bookstore plans.

And speaking of plans: Mine for this week are:

* Finish my Pepsi grant application, to be posted online for voting on March 1. Courtney Sames, who has been working with Fede Cavazos on filming a documentary about B. Dalton closing and what has come next, has offered to send me a few photos to use for my application. I can't wait to see what she's got for me!

* Email the president of Texas A&M International University in Laredo; since university students are one of my key demographics, I would love to keep him informed in hopes that he will communicate my plans to all TAMIU students. I'd love to get them reading this blog and contributing their ideas as to what they'd like to see in an independent bookstore.

* Finalize and send off magazine pitches to at least three national women's magazines. I'll let you all know which ones once the pitches have gone out.

* More research and more work on my business plan. When the plan is finished, I'll use it to apply for more grants, as well as a small business loan from local financial institutions and the Small Business Association. Once I have funding, I'll be able to give you all more details as to what I have in mind for location.

* Visit with Mary Benavides again over the phone to compare notes on our plans. I have some ideas as to how we can both achieve our goals while providing Laredo with bookstores that aren't in direct competition. Details to come!

Another update is that my sister, a senior at Texas A&M University in College Station, has the opportunity to work with an expert to develop a detailed project management plan. She's opted to work with me on developing a plan for the bookstore, which I'm SO excited about! This is something separate from the business plan, and should serve as a roadmap throughout the project. I'll be sure to keep you all posted.

Soon to come: my vision for the bookstore. The size, the look and feel, the books, the non-books, the refreshments . . .

Thanks for coming back this week despite my inconsistency. Your readership inspires me!

Social Media Love

It's been less than a week since I started this blog--and only four days since I've been tracking visitor stats with Google Analytics--and I've already been so encouraged by the responses I've been getting via Facebook, Twitter, and e-mail. So encouraged, in fact, that I thought I'd share a few with you:

Since late Wednesday night (2/10), there have been nearly 450 page views and nearly 300 unique visitors to this blog. And the visitors span Texas, both coasts, some southern and midwestern states, and Australia. That's a pretty exciting start!

Via Twitter:

"My wife and I are from Ldo and cant tell u enough what we think of your efforts Hope you achieve your dream we r wkng on ours"
"The world needs more indie bookstores!"
"For those of you not already in the know: @KatieGPainter is opening a bookstore in Laredo, TX. Take that, pessimistic journalists!"

Via Facebook:

"I just got caught up on your blog... WOW.. not only an amazing plan.. but you are an amazing woman.. and a champion for those of us that grew up with a book never leaving our hands..."
"Good luck, Katie! Let me know if you need an extra set of eyes for the [grant] application; I'll be glad to help in any way I can."
"Inspiring, Katie, we're behind you all the way!"
"Make a Provocation and Privacy facebook fan page."

And email:

"Unreal.....Had no idea that there is no bookstore in the largest city in the U.S. I know the importance of reading and it has been an escape for me to go to a book store and just zone out and enjoy the feeling you get from reading. Coming from a family that had a brother that could not read or write saddens me that the city has no access to a book store. I will support you Katie anyway I can. Your blog is amazing. Thank you for stepping up to this challenge."

My goal is to more than double the page views and visitors by this time next week, and then double them again the week afterward and so on. You can help by posting a link to this blog on your Facebook page, adding me on Twitter and then retweeting my posts about the blog, and/or sending an e-mail to friends and family with the link. I've said it before, but it bears repeating: The more people who feel invested in the creation of this bookstore from the beginning, the higher the likelihood of its success and longevity.

Thanks for all your support--and happy Valentine's Day!

What Do Independent Bookstores Offer That Chains Don't?

As it turns out, a lot.

But first, a little history on how Laredo views chains and independents, at least from my perspective.

Laredo seems, to me, very different now than it was when I was growing up. I didn't run barefoot across unpaved roads like my parents did, but I distinctly remember the many parts of town that were undeveloped. Just monte--hard-packed dirt and scrub brush. I remember the joy we three kids had on our family trips to San Antonio, 150 miles away. Our first stop upon entering the city was always Olive Garden. The restaurant shared the parking lot with Ingram Mall, and I remember being delighted by the big Shepler's Boot sign.

San Antonio was the land of chains, and we loved it. It was American Eagle and Abercrombie, Red Lobster and Texas Land & Cattle. We'd stay at the Drury Inn, which we called the Dreary, or sometimes at the Omni or Doubletree or Marriott. We'd shop and eat for two days and then go home, full and happy.

I remember when Laredo got an Olive Garden. It, too, shares a parking lot with a mall. Red Lobster, Logan's Roadhouse, Sirloin Stockade, and Long John Silvers occupy the same stretch of asphalt. I remember when we got a McDonald's almost around the corner from my house, and then--cue the trumpets--Starbucks came into town. In high school, I adored the feeling of sitting in Starbucks, gossiping with girlfriends, and drinking some sugary caffeinated concoction. I felt as though I was growing up, and Laredo was, too.

In a lot of ways, I think chains coming into town gave Laredo some kind of validation. It made us feel like we were joining the rest of the world, becoming a "real" city. It wasn't until I moved to the Austin area in 2002 that I became charmed by independently owned restaurants, boutiques, antique shops, and bookstores, that I began seeing their unique value.

Now to answer the title question of this post: What do independent bookstores offer that chains don't?

According to several studies explored in an article on Book Passage Bookstore's website--which can be found at http://www.bookpassage.com/content.php?id=95--locally owned businesses "generate a 70% premium in local economic benefit."

In California last year, the number of in-store author appearances at indie bookstores was more than 4,000. In the same year, indie bookstores donated more than $100,000 to local community organizations. They employed more than 3,000 people, and the sales taxes collected and paid to support schools, social services, and public agencies totaled more than $10 million. How about Amazon.com? Zeros to all of these questions.

I know, I know--Amazon.com isn't exactly a chain. But consider this bit of information from the article:

"In 2002 a study was commissioned in Austin, Texas, to compare the comparative economic benefit to the community of Bookpeople, an Austin independent bookstore, and Waterloo Records, a local music store, with a proposed Borders store that threatened to drive both out of business. The study looked at the local economic impact - i.e. the degree to which money from each business flows back into the local economy. The study concluded that for every $100 of money spent at Borders $13 flowed back into the community in wages, expenditures, taxes, etc. With the independents, however, the comparable figure was $45. In other words, the two independent stores yielded more than three times the local economic impact."

Consider these figures from a similar study in Chicago:

"For every $100 in consumer spending with a local firm, $73 remains in the Chicago economy.
For every $100 in consumer spending with a chain firm, $43 remains in the Chicago economy.
For every square foot occupied by a local firm, local economic impact is $179.
For every square foot occupied by a chain firm, local economic impact is $105."

I'm convinced. How about you?

Thanks for sticking with me through this long post! I'd love to hear your thoughts. And thanks to Annette for pointing me to this article!

Filming and a Phone Call

I'd like to start this post by thanking those who have been reading the blog and following my updates on Facebook and Twitter (KatieGPainter). I love the comments I'm getting on my Facebook wall, via e-mail, and on the phone, and I love hearing that friends and clients have passed the link to this blog onto their friends and family. I'm really learning how much reading, and buying books, means to the people in my life. But--as much as I adore hearing your comments through other mediums--for the love of literacy, throw out a couple of comments here! And follow the blog. I like seeing the little pictures on the left side of my screen. :) And also, what is reading and writing if not a conversation? So let's have one!

Entreaties aside, today was a productive and eventful day. I worked on a newsletter for a new telecommunications client and then had lunch with a former client, a fantastic biography writer. She had visited the blog and, curious woman that she is, had a million questions for me regarding my plans for the bookstore. So I enjoyed talking with her about that. It never gets old.

Yesterday, though, I found out from my aunt that I'm not the only one in Laredo moving forward with efforts to open a bookstore. Mary Benavides, who managed B. Dalton for the better part of 30 years, is also working toward this goal. My first thought, of course, was, Where does that leave me? Swiftly followed by, Oh, crap--I put my plans on the Internet too soon! They're all gonna laugh at me!

It was this state of mind that Courtney Sames found me in this afternoon. Courtney is one half of the documentarist duo I mentioned a couple of posts ago, and she wanted to come get an update from me on what I've been working on since our last talk.

"I wanted to talk to you about something off-camera first," I said. "I just heard that Mary Benavides is also trying to open a bookstore."

Courtney smiled, a little sheepish. "Well..." she said. "Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that."

I had to laugh. Sneaky documentarist!

"She called me on my way over here," Courtney said. "She'd like to talk to you. She's so nice," Courtney assured me. "The warmest person you'll ever meet."

I told Courtney that my aunt had given me Mary's number (the two have been good friends for years--such is Laredo) and that I intended to call after our interview. Courtney's eyes lit up. She looked at her camera. "Would you mind if...?"

That's how, after I updated Courtney and showed her this blog and the grant site, I ended up being filmed while I spoke to Mary.

Courtney was right about Mary's warmth and friendliness. After a slightly awkward start, I felt at ease, and we talked to each other about our plans and ideas. It was clear that Mary is as passionate as I am about bringing a bookstore to Laredo and fostering a community of arts and culture.

So where does that leave me? Right where I left off. We ended the call by promising to keep each other updated. More importantly, we vowed to find a way to achieve our goals in a complementary, rather than competitive, way. What, exactly, that means remains to be seen. But you'll know when I do!

As for the photo? He's the brains behind this operation.

On the Sidelines

What makes a bookstore successful in (a) an economy that is forcing people to buy only what they need, coupled with (b) a changing marketplace where readers with an Internet collection don't have to leave their couches to order books? Is the brick-and-mortar bookstore coughing its last eloquent breath?

This is a question on many booksellers' minds these days, and it is echoed by the publishing industry and, of course, writers and readers. Some argue that younger generations, especially, are reading less, and the ones who still do are being technologically seduced by the likes of the Kindle and iPad. Others argue that the traditional bookstore will never die, because the process of browsing and selecting books is tactile and personal. As Vivian Guzman recently commented on my Facebook wall, "We reeeally need a bookstore [in Laredo]. Browsing and ordering books online isn't the same!"

So let's get business-minded. How do the profitable bookstores in America--independent bookstores, in particular--stay profitable amid the challenges of a changing industry?

A former professor of mine, Dr. Michael Saenger, also commented on my wall. He said, "Personally, I think the key to bookstore viability these days is to have some way that the bookstore can make money that's complementary to selling books, without feeling like it's contrary to selling books. I bet Barnes and Noble makes more money from the gift item selection than they do from the book area. And they often have a kid's play area, with toys for sale. I don't think the 'book store' is dead, I just think the 'only a book store' is dying."

According to my research, Dr. Saenger is right: Sidelines, or the non-book items sold in bookstores, contribute up to 30% of bookstores' profitability. That's because, unlike books, which have a set retail price, it's up to the bookseller by what margin to mark up non-book items. Makes sense, but this was still surprising to me; I don't think I've ever bought a sideline at a bookstore. At least, not for a long time.

How about you all? What non-book items grab your attention--and make you reach for your wallets--at bookstores? What complementary items would you like to see bookstores sell?

Thanks, Vivian and Dr. Saenger, for your comments!

And...Action!

On Saturday, February 6, I was interviewed by Courtney Sames and Fede Cavazos, two fellow Laredoans who have been filming a documentary about the closing of B. Dalton. They have sat and talked with high school teachers who broke into tears; librarians who vowed to increase circulation; a bus full of orphanage children who shopped at B. Dalton one last time before it closed; and a fourteen-year-old girl who has collected thousands of signatures on a petition to bring another bookstore to Laredo.

As the cornflower sky began deepening and the air turned brisk with evening, we sat out on my back deck to have a long, frank discussion about my plans. I was asked about my family, my life in Laredo and since I left, and what books and literacy mean to me. I was also asked how I would tailor the bookstore to Laredo’s unique demographic and why I’ve chosen to take this risk. I guess my answer is this:

Without a bookstore, without a focus on the importance of reading and writing, Laredo is a city at its most vulnerable. At its most exploitable, corruptible, and defenseless. Never have I felt more moved to make a change than I do now. What was once a “life dream”—something I intended to pursue after achieving my own success as a writer—has become one of those rare passions. A mission. A knowledge that this is a problem I can help solve, and which my heart feels a duty to amend.

After the interview was over and we were all chatting in my kitchen, Fede admitted, “You know, before we started this project, I was skeptical about whether Laredo is capable of sustaining a bookstore. But after interviewing all the people we have, I know, without a doubt, that it is. There are a lot of people in that city who want and would appreciate a good bookstore.”

It’s what I believed already, but those words were so validating! There is a community of ardent readers in Laredo, and a community that would like to be.

Being interviewed was an honor, and I can't wait to see the documentary when it's done. Thank you, Courtney and Fede!

Are you from Laredo, Nuevo Laredo, Monterrey, or South Texas? What would you like to see in an independent bookstore?

First Grant Application: In Progress!

Yesterday, I started filling out a $250,000 grant application on www.refresheverything.com. Pepsi is giving $1.3 million in grants each month to the ideas that seem most refreshing, positive, and feasible—and which earn the most votes from people who go onto the site. So, starting March 1, GO VOTE (I’ll attach the link when it’s up)! Two ideas per month will win the $250,000 grant amount.

I was so excited to see that Pepsi is doing this! Before learning about the program, I had read of a bookstore in East L.A., which is heavily populated with Latinos, that was granted a $500,000 MacArthur grant. Until that point, I hadn’t thought of grants as a potential funding resource—but as soon as I read the article, I knew that applying for them would need to be a priority. My goal is to win as much in grants as possible so that I can present that capital to banks and the Small Business Association when applying for a small business loan. But I digress.

I meant to say that, on my first search for grants, I was a little discouraged. I found that many of the grants for which this project is well-suited require nomination, rather than application. For others, I tend to fall in between the listed categories: The bookstore is not yet in business, so I can’t apply as a business requesting funds. But individual applicants are often required to submit proof that their idea can be executed in a shorter amount of time than this one realistically will. I still have much more research to do, but these were my preliminary findings. Which is why I was thrilled to see a commercial for Pepsi’s grant program! I’ll be working on the application this week so that I can submit it as soon as possible; only 1,000 ideas per month are accepted. I’ll let you all know when I finish the application and—most importantly—when it’s online and ready for voting!

A Bookstore for Laredo

The day before B. Dalton, then Laredo's only bookstore, closed, my dad said to me, “I don’t want to hear about your dreams; I want to hear about your plans.”

If you didn’t know him, if you didn’t know me, if you didn’t hear the self-aware laugh in his voice and the teasing tone in mine, his words would sound harsh. After all, what father wouldn’t want to hear about his daughter’s dreams? His oldest child’s dreams?

The truth is, both my dad and my mom have always been wonderfully receptive to, and unimaginably supportive of, their children’s dreams. But my parents are more than listening ears. They are hard workers. Build-from-the-ground-uppers. Entrepreneurs. Inspired and inspiring. I have learned from them what it means to not only dream, but to plan. And to not only plan, but to put that plan into action.

So I understood what my dad meant. I laughed and said, “I think I take after you.” I had recently dreamed about how I hadn’t been so supportive of my husband Colin's latest idea for work. Perhaps the dream was my subconscious telling me to stop, for a moment, playing devil’s advocate. Stop picking apart, examining each word, the syntax of each sentence, the format of each page, and the overall idea long enough to consider the excitement behind the idea. The inspiration. But I suppose I, too, like a plan.

And, yet, I’m not a planner. It’s a big joke in my family, how little of a planner I am. I oversleep, press snooze every seven minutes for two hours, am rarely the first to arrive at an appointment, am often forgetful, and put, maybe, too little effort into amending these qualities. Okay, these flaws.

What I am, however, is a person to whom “No” means very little. Or, rather, it means a lot. It means I will work and fight and sweat (then hide that sweat under a deceptive layer of Laura Mercier mineral powder foundation) all the harder to prove that I can meet that original goal. I can prove that naysayer wrong. I can make that beautiful, effervescent dream an equally beautiful, if imperfect, reality. And, in fact, I can do even better than I first imagined.

My dream: to open Laredo Texas’s first bookstore since the closing of its only one. My border hometown, with a population of 250,000 (and a population of 600,000 just a few steps away in Mexico), is now the largest city in the U.S. without a single bookstore. The 1,200 square-foot B. Dalton, owned by Barnes and Noble, was recently closed as part of the company’s transition to “large format” bookstores. The closing was covered by such media as MSNBC, National Public Radio, and The Wall Street Journal, which irresponsibly (in my opinion) dubbed Laredo “a poor city filled with immigrants who don’t speak English, let alone read it.”

The sting of such criticism follows closely on the heels of media reports denouncing Laredo as a breeding ground for criminal activity—drug and gang violence galore. The largest import/export hub in the U.S., Laredo, Texas is the nation’s bad joke, its bastard stepchild. That’s fine. It will allow us to do something great—something customized for Laredo’s unique culture and community, which is so much more than recent publicity would suggest. One year from now, I hope to watch as ground breaks and gives way to our bookstore. I hope to cheer as that dry South Texas soil splits to allow room for books. Stories. Worlds.

My plan: to research. To learn everything I can about selling books (as opposed to writing, editing, or publishing them). That includes financial dynamics, merchandising, location, store design, demographics, inventory, computerization, human resources, marketing, operations, and the list goes on. To write (and have reviewed) an educated, thorough, creative business plan, entirely tailored to the Laredo market. To apply for grants and fellowships. To apply for a small business loan. To encourage community support. To purchase land. To design and build. And to perform the real work—everything that comes after Laredo’s bookstore opens.

I hope to be a part of raising the literacy rate in my hometown (currently 47% of adults in Webb County lack basic reading skills). I hope to give children and teenagers a safe place to explore themselves, and the world. I hope to give adults a warm, welcoming place to enjoy one another’s company, to sit down with a good book and perhaps enjoy a glass of wine. In short, I hope to offer my city both an escape and a return. A liftoff.

One year. We can do this. And here, I will record the progress. I hope you will join me.

Dreams. Plans. Inspiration. They’re all we need to achieve great things.